


you can fight this all you want, but tonight belongs to me

by JPFB



Series: Number Five [1]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Conventional Weapons, Frerard, M/M, Number Five - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-21
Updated: 2013-02-21
Packaged: 2017-12-03 03:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/693691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JPFB/pseuds/JPFB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"<em> Frank and Gerard are laughing, stumbling along the path that leads from the bar to the van. Tonight had been a good show; Gerard had remembered all the lyrics and Frank had only knocked over one drum. Frank is clinging onto Gerard’s arm for support, giggling at some untold joke. </em> "</p>
            </blockquote>





	you can fight this all you want, but tonight belongs to me

**Author's Note:**

> [edit 22.11.13 I HATE THIS I AM CRINGING SO HARD OK sorry i need to write it again one day and make it decent sorry]
> 
>  
> 
> I don't have a beta, so **any mistakes are my own**. 
> 
> Frank and Gerard don't have any children.
> 
>  _Playlist:_  
>  -Surrender The Night  
> -Burn Bright  
> -All That I've Got, The Used  
> -Kissing You Goodbye, The Used  
> -Last Words, Ivyrise
> 
> [edited 22.9.13: apologies for the excessive use of capitalisation, I could write this so much better now)

**“Hey guys, anyone else notice the lyrics to burn bright sound a hell of a lot like frerard?”**

Frank sighs. Not this, AGAIN. He’d thought when they scrapped the album, that it would end all these FEELINGS. But no, it’s been released and here he is, in his home in Jersey – his FAMILY home, you know, the one he shares with his WIFE – trawling the web to gauge the reaction to conventional weapons. God, he can practically FEEL Mikey standing over him frowning and wearing his “don't google yourself” shirt. Oh man, he needs to stop doing this to himself. And Jamia, he reminds himself. This is NOT fair on Jamia. 

He supposes he can’t REALLY blame the fans for gossiping. The two songs on number five are really fucking emotional. And Frank knows all too well, how much the fans love to ship him with Gerard. So, listen to those songs whilst watching an old video of the pair of them on stage? Yeah it DOES sound like it’s about them.

He remembers the first time they sat in the studio and Gerard sang Burn Bright.

**

> “We walked around in your city lights  
>  ‘Cause it makes me who I am” 

  
_Ray and Bob look at each other, looking puzzled. As the song progresses, they start to look less confused and more worried. Mikey, for once, isn’t wearing his poker face. His eyes are flicking back and forth from Gerard to Frank – perhaps seeing what the others aren’t. It wouldn’t have been the first time he understood Gerard better than the rest of them combined. As for Frank, he’s got his eyes closed, rocking back and forth, same as always._

> “They always told me that  
>  “You never get to heaven”  
>  With a love like yours” 

  
_Now, even Ray and Bob are watching Frank, concern etched across their faces. The religious reference would be bad enough normally, but with the way Mikey is anxiously eyeing the two men, it seems almost painfully obvious. Gerard, meanwhile, is acting like there’s nothing wrong, singing maybe even better than usual._

> “And though I missed the chance for this,  
>  I confess that I can’t wait,  
>  Until it’s gone  
>  No I mean this every single day” 

__  
_Frank’s eyes flash open. He’s staring at Gerard, wide eyed. Suddenly, the room seems so much smaller, like there isn’t enough air to sustain them all. Gerard finally makes eye contact with Frank, swallowing once before looking away and continuing with the next line. Bob rolls his eyes, his “I’m so over this shit” face on. Ray can't keep the panic out of his eyes – “oh crap, my band is about to implode”. Mikey is now just watching Frank, watching his reaction._

> “‘Cause it makes me who I am  
>  Who I am” 

  
_As the song ends, Gerard looks up from the floor and asks what everyone thinks. Ray is frozen, panic still written all over his face. Mikey looks at him, not with pity, but with brotherly love that isn’t too dissimilar from pity.”Bob? Any thoughts?”. Bob can't help it, he cracks up. “Dude you just sang about Frank with FRANK IN THE ROOM. Oh man”. Now it’s Gerard’s turn to look panicked. “No what why? Why would you even-? I’m **MARRIED** Bob. To an amazing woman. Why – just, NO BOB”. He then turns to Frank, pushing his hair out of his eyes. Frank makes brief eye contact, shakes his head, just once and stands up. “Great song Gee, really. I mean it”. He tries to smile but Gerard can see, hell they can ALL see, the tears in his eyes as he walks out of the room. _

**  
Frank snaps out of his memory, realising there are tears streaming down his face. He tries to push it away; he’s tried for the last FOUR FUCKING YEARS to push away that memory, even longer trying to push away memories of them. The two of them. Together, like nothing else mattered.

**  
 _Frank and Gerard are laughing, stumbling along the path that leads from the bar to the van. Tonight had been a good show; Gerard had remembered all the lyrics and Frank had only knocked over one drum. Frank is clinging onto Gerard’s arm for support, giggling at some untold joke. Suddenly, or so it seems, they’re at the van, climbing in, falling over their best friends as they attempt to reach the back. As far as Ray is concerned, it’s taking far too long. “GERARD GET YOUR ASS IN THE VAN RIGHT NOW OR WE WILL LEAVE YOU AND YOU WILL REALISE HOW MUCH IT SUCKS!” Ray loves his singer, he really does. But seriously. He doesn’t want to sit here and listen to Gerard go ON AND ON AND ON about how pretty the fucking flowers were outside. Frank leans forward, tugging his best friend over the back of the seat. Of course it doesn’t go smoothly and they both end up sprawled on the dirty floor, breathless from laughter and too many cigarettes. It all goes quiet for a moment, until Otter leans over the back, smirks and turns back round to speak to Mikey. “Hey man. Gerard and Frank are kissing”. Mikey’s eyes go comically wide before he dives into the back, pulling his big brother off their rhythm guitarist. “I don’t care if you’re gay or whatever but seriously, NOT IN THE VAN”. Frank just pouts and grabs Gerard by the collar, pulling him back in. Mikey sighs. It’s going to be a long night._

**  
That’s definitely a happier memory, one Frank is relatively happy to put up with. Really, it’s amazing he even remembers it at all, considering how wasted and stoned he was. That was the start of it all. The start of them. He was no longer just Frank, he was half of a duo, he was “Frank AND Gerard” after that. Frank smiles, remembering how annoyed Mikey used to look when they were being inseparable, pulling faces in sound check at each other.

**  
 _Ray is the one to break the silence. Just a nervous cough, but it does the trick. Mikey jumps up, apparently having been chosen as the spokesperson, clears his throat and begins. “So we’ve um, we’ve all, come to the decision that, um, we’re going to scrap this album. Um. It doesn’t feel right you know? It feels like we’re losing ourselves and we’re not being true to what the band stands for. So um. We’re going to start again. If that’s, you know, okay?”. The representatives from the record label are looking confused. The last they’d heard, the album was nearly finished. Before they ask any awkward questions, Gerard jumps in rambling about the concept they have for the new NEW record. When he finishes, he fends off questions directly related to the reasons behind the scrapping of the first attempt. For that, at least, Frank knows he has to be grateful. Gerard isn’t trying to make things worse than they already are._

**  
None of them were ever brave, or stupid, enough to say the words they had all (Frank was sure it wasn’t just him) been thinking - “Gerard isn’t trying to make things worse than HE HAD MADE THEM”. Gerard had fucked up. They all knew that. The thought of it makes Frank shake with anger, or perhaps sadness. Somewhere along the way they got so mixed up he can't even tell them apart. Frank smirks. ‘Just like us then. Gee and me. Mixed up’

**

> “You surrender your heart,  
>  I surrender every dream,  
>  Every weapon you’ve got,  
>  Every secret that I keep,  
>  You can fight this all you want,  
>  But tonight belongs to me” 

__  
_Frank looks up at Gerard, a smile on his face. “The song is AWESOME Gee. Totally cool”. Gerard smiles back, relieved inside that Frank hadn’t questioned the material. Frank can’t stop smiling, the song totally RULES and Gerard’s voice is perfect in it. He plugs his iPod into the laptop. Still smiling at his best friend, “I’m going to listen to this forever Gee”_

**  
Frank pulls the iPod out of his jeans. He still has the song on it. He has ALL the Conventional Weapons songs. They mean so much to him and he’s so glad the rest of the world got to hear them. But he just wishes they could hear them without gossiping, without bringing up old memories. Bad memories. Bad feelings.

**  
 _“Forget about him Frank, you have to” Bob is frowning at Frank, trying to make him see sense. If Frank and Gerard don't get their heads sorted out, the band won’t work. And the thought of that terrifies all of them. Ray has been in a state of constant panic ever since Gerard first played Burn Bright. They’d all hoped that scrapping that record would have solved all their problems. But no, two months later, and Frank is still SULKING._

_Frank hears Bob’s words, but they don’t sink in. He CAN’T forget Gerard. He can’t forget all the moments they had. That’s bad enough right? But oh no, Frank had to be a sentimental bastard in his twenties. So, on his stomach, PERMANENTLY ON HIS BODY, is the tattoo celebrating, commemorating them. Him and Gerard, the angel and the devil. He remembers Gerard’s face when he showed him the tattoo. The way his eyes went really wide before smiling like a total TOOL and embracing Frank like nothing else mattered. Perhaps it didn’t.2004. Huh, it feels like yesterday for Frank._

**  
More tears find their way down Frank’s face. He wipes them away angrily, furious at himself for getting so upset. He thought he was okay with it now. He’d never forget Gerard, of course he wouldn’t. How could he? But he at least thought he was mature enough to move on with his life. It’s not fair on Jamia for him to feel like this. Frank frowns, looking guilty as he remembers how he never felt bad when he was with Gerard. When it was just the two of them, Frank’s wife never crossed his mind. And looking back, Frank realises he didn’t care. All he cared about was Gerard. And he’s SURE Gerard felt the same. It was only as the years went on that those feelings changed and Gerard started to push him away, not pull him closer. They never spoke about what they had when they were doing it because it didn’t matter. All that mattered was the two of them. Similarly, they never spoke about it when it stopped. It was more subtle; Gerard not letting Frank get so close on stage, spending more time in his own bunk than in Frank’s. 

**  
 _Gerard is crouched on the stage. Ray, Mikey and Bob are playing like there’s no tomorrow, playing like it’s their last chance. Frank looks up, sees Gerard on the ground and seizes the opportunity. He strolls over to Gerard, playing his heart out, sitting on Gee’s shoulders. The singer’s arm goes between Frank’s legs, holding the younger man up onto him. Frank continues playing, rubbing against Gerard. The moment is too much, the adrenaline too high. Frank ditches his guitar and starts to grind against Gerard’s head. When Gerard pushes him away, he always pushes him away, Frank walks back to his spot with his back to the crowd, grateful he has a guitar to hide behind._

**  
The projekt revolution tour had been the best time of his life. He was on stage night after night, doing what he loved, playing to people who adored them. Frank smiles, a blush creeping across his face as he remembers their stage moments. It was the tour that made the fans go crazy; it was the tour that created “frerard”. Frank would be pushing up against Gee every night, getting in his face, pushing the limits. Gerard would push him away but everyone knew he didn’t mean it. Bob, for one, always had a smirk on his face backstage – he would tease Gerard for days afterwards.

**  
 _It’s 28th July 2007. Gerard is giving it his all on stage, acting even filthier than usual, really playing up to the crowd. “Prison” starts and Frank smirks. He knows this is ‘their’ song, the song where they play up to each other, making the crowd scream. Frank strolls around the stage, Gerard following behind. Gerard leans in for a kiss, a quick peck on the cheek. Nothing special, but it’s already making Frank’s heart beat faster. Gerard walks off, grins at Ray, then circles straight back round to Frank. Suddenly, he’s all up in Frank’s face, kissing him. Hard. Kissing him hard. He’s got a hand on Frank’s head, Frank stops playing to wrap his arm around Gerard’s waist. It’s only brief and as always, Gerard shoves him away, strutting across stage like the diva he is. ___

__**  
Frank stands up, grabbing his headphones from the shelf. He plugs them into his iPod, selecting “number five”. As the chorus to ‘Surrender The Night’ starts, so do his tears. By the second verse, he’s crying so hard he can barely breathe. Sinking to the floor, he rests his head in his arms, sobbing for the man he loved. Sobbing for the man who got away._ _


End file.
